Wonder Review

So yeah, I just finished Wonder, and I think it was GREAT! Even better than the End of Your Life Book Club! (Sorry Will!)

I just love how Palacio writes and expresses in this very subtle way, it's like she can locate the emotion and then just put it in one simple sentence. Also, the chapters are only like a few pages long, so you get really motivated to read it! Finished the book in two days!

The book has like all kinds of tragedies, from divorce to grief to neglect to pets dying to bullying. Maybe one reason why I really loved the book was because in real life, I really do know people with all these problems. It's just makes me really sad yet really happy at the same time, because I finally understand them a bit, you know?

As for August, yeah, I think I can relate. No, I don't have a deformed face, but his face is really just a metaphor isn't it? For differences. I don't like it when people stare at me when I have a panic attack, I kinda understand his pain a bit.

It's "that look".

Well, at least the ending was wonderful! (Don't want to leak it out though.) Once again, thank you so much for reading this blog and joining me in my book adventures!

P.S. Palacio is a woman. I honestly thought she was male at first.

The Freak: Mini Thoughts

I'm sorry but tonight I am extremely bothered. I just don't understand why people don't understand. They look at me, freaking out, having a panic attack, hyperventilating. Yet all they ever do is stare and stab me over and over and over again, because those looks are like daggers. What I see aren't looks of empathy or looks of worry, I'm seeing ANGRY people or scared people.

They stare at me like I'm a freak.

Yeah, that's what they call people who freak out at weird stuff like cars or noise or crowds. It's not "normal". They look at me and I can hear them laughing inside, taunting me. They look at me and they judge. They look at me, and that's all they ever do. No one comes forward to help. Ever.

Because it seems, nowadays, that's not "normal".

I'm Scared: Mini Thoughts

This morning I went a little crazy with my anxiety levels shooting sky high. I've been having nightmares about the car again. Zooming past and smashing into me. It really did happen, by the way, a red taxi nearly hit me while I was crossing a bend. I ended up diagnosing all the phobias I had. By the time I had finished "A", I already had 7 different phobias. Here's the list:

1. Agateophobia — Fear of Insanity
2. Agyrophobia — Fear of Crossing Roads
3. Acrophobia — Fear of Heights
4. Agoraphobia — Fear of crowds
5. Amnesephobia — Fear of Amnesia/Forgetting
6. Arsonophobia — Fear of Fire
7. Autophobia — Fear of Loneliness
8. Catalagophobia — Fear of being ridiculed in public
9. Dentophobia — Fear of Dentists
10. Hylephobia — Fear of Materialism/Epilepsy
11. Hypnophobia — Fear of Getting Hypnotized
12. Iatrophobia — Fear of Doctors
13. Lygyrophobia — Fear of Loud Noise
14. Nosocomephobia — Fear of Hospitals
15. Nosophobia — Fear of being ill
16. Ochophobia — Fear of vehicles
17. Ophthalmophobia — Fear of being stared at
18. Photoaugliaphobia — Fear of bright lights
19. Soteriophobia — Fear of being dependant on others
20. Tremophobia — Fear of trembling
21. Trichophobia — Fear of hair

Oh and anapnophobia sometimes too, which is the fear of breathing. This will be activated every time I have a panic attack. But yeah, this is my little list of strange phobias I have. Isn't it strange how some people have so few... It's a miracle how brave they really are.

The End of Your Life Book Club Review

I just finished reading "The End of Your Life Book Club" yesterday. I'd say it's a powerful and moving book that presents everything in a simple, subtle way. I really admire Will's mother. She's done so much: humanitarian work, housewife, part-time blogger, fund raiser... An endless list to the amount of things she's done. I'd say Mary Ann's death was, in a way, also better than Romeo and Juliet living.

Mary Ann Schwalbe

My grandfather is suffering from lung and bone cancer so I could really relate a lot to the book. I kind of applied that thing he learnt in The Etiquette of Illness. Now, I always ask him if he wants to talk about how he's feeling rather than how he's feeling. And it does wonders.

But I guess even books cannot prepare you for the grief to come. He and my grandmother raised me up because my parents are busy with work most of the time, so we're really close knitted. And I honestly can't imagine a life without him.

But yeah, the book is really amazing. You can check out the synopsis here. A book you'd fall in love with almost immediately. By the way, I'm still book hunting for the next book. So, until next month!

The Last Page of a Book: Mini Thoughts

I was just flipping through my old notebooks that day when I came across this one page that intrigued me yet again. It was a page about, as the title suggests, the last pages of books.

I guess, finishing a book really takes a lot of effort sometimes, especially if it's dry or slow. But in the process, finishing the book can really show your resilience. Also, reading the last page of a book, especially if it's dry, gives you this sense of accomplishment that you've completed something. And it's just so wonderful when books leave you with a powerful parting message or really, it just leaves you hanging.

It is a happiness I cannot express: The joy of reading.

Chaos: Mini Thoughts

Chaos isn't all that bad.

One cannot experience true happiness without sadness; One cannot truly appreciate love without neglect; One cannot truly feel alive if they haven't been near death. You see, chaos gives experience. Experience brings appreciation. And all this can be built on to achieve success.

Furthermore, chaos shows you the human spirit. In desperate times, you can see how people really are. Would you friend sacrifice himself? Or would he sacrifice you? Chaos brings the test to the highest level.

Sometimes, Chaos can be beautiful. Take Jackson Pollock for example: His works are merely buckets of splattered paint. Yet, they are beautiful buckets of splashed paint. Perhaps, chaos is but an unorganised mess, waiting to be fixed.

Chaos is waiting.

Jackson Pollock's work: Do you see the beauty?

Knowing Isn't Comforting: Mini Thoughts

Every day, not ever missing it once, you always ask if I'm okay.

Truth is, sometimes — most of the time actually — I'm not. But I just reply "Yeah, I'm good" and add an extra smiley emoji behind. I don't want to harm you or hurt you, I don't want you to always feel down when you're with me. But you and you're magic mind, you always seem to be able to read between the lines, see behind that smiley face, feel behind those words. You always know how I'm feeling. I'm sorry, I never dared to tell them to your face. But it leaves me wondering.

What can I do, even if I know you're not okay?